why we should be talking about mental health in hospitality.

Every year in the UK, 6,000 people take their own lives – and three-quarters of them are men. In fact, suicide is the leading cause of death for men under 50. Yet men are less likely to access psychological therapies, accounting for only 36% of NHS referrals.

So, what can we do about it?

To mark this year’s International Men’s Day on 19th November 2023 – with the theme “Zero Male Suicide” – Kelly’s Cause hosted an intimate discussion, ‘Reducing the Stigma: Men’s Mental Health in Hospitality’. In a safe space at South Place Hotel, five panellists from across the industry – Adam Leydon, L&D Manager at Hawksmoor; Emeka Frederick, Co-Founder of Chuku’s; Dom Taylor, Head Chef at The Good Front Room; Daniel Thompson, Director of Operations at Maslow’s; and mum Founder and Director Craig Prentice – were honest and vulnerable in sharing their experiences and learnings.

To keep the conversation going, we’re sharing our top four takeaways – read on to learn how we can all make hospitality a better place to be.

The panelists: Emeka Frederick, Co-Founder of Chuku’s; Adam Leydon, L&D Manager at Hawksmoor; Daniel Thompson, Director of Operations at Maslow’s; Craig Prentice, Founder and Director of mum; and Dom Taylor, Head Chef at The Good Front Room (The Langham).

1. it starts with looking after yourself

As one panellist pointed out, mental health is affected by three things: looking after yourself, how others treat you, and life events. The first is the only factor you can fully control. We’ve all heard the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup” – meaning you have to look after yourself before you can look after others. But if you’re really honest, how much do you actually take note?

The panellists were strong proponents of physical wellbeing as a foundation for mental wellbeing: eating well, exercising, practising meditation and resisting unhealthy coping strategies like smoking and drinking to excess. As well as giving your body and mind greater resilience, they said, it’s about finding time for yourself – carrying out ongoing maintenance that helps to prevent a problem, rather than waiting for something to break before you fix it.

Another helpful tip was to know what you’re capable of. When do you feel your best? What’s guaranteed to make you feel rubbish – whether it’s poor sleep, too much alcohol, too much social media exposure, lack of movement, or even just a lack of alone time? “Doing extra hours is like having a doughnut – you know you shouldn’t, but it’s so tempting,” said one of our panellists. But he warns against sacrificing your mental health to achieve your career goals. “Don’t neglect the things you know restore you.”

By taking notice of your own trigger points you’ll understand yourself better, which puts you in a stronger position to say no, or avoid situations that are likely to have a negative impact on your mental health. (Not sure where to start? The Wellbeing Wheel is a useful tool to check in with your wellbeing and understand where you may need some support.)

Of course, this isn’t a fix-all. But taking better care of yourself could be a step towards greater resilience to influences outside your control. 

2. as employers, we have a responsibility to look after people

Fast-paced. Volume-led. High-pressure. Huge expectations. Hospitality is an intense environment – which can be both a draw and a drawback. Long hours and irregular sleep patterns often result in exhaustion and a poor diet, while unsociable schedules coupled with enthusiastic after-work socialising are a catalyst for both loneliness and burnout. “It’s fun… Until it’s not,” said one panellist.

Unfortunately, many hospitality businesses feed into this dangerous culture, capitalising on an old-school mindset of having to be there, be seen, be on it. Our panellists agreed hospitality can be archaic in its attitudes towards the physical and mental wellbeing of its workers, which is ironic for an industry that revolves around creating amazing experiences and caring for its customers and clients. “As an industry we tend to celebrate the wrong behaviours,” said our panellists. “If we can call out those toxic behaviours, we might create a safer space.”

“Change is a doing word,” said one of the panellists. “It requires meaningful action.” The first step is to review your policies and assess which no longer serve your workforce, and where there are gaps in the net – where people might easily slip through – that need fixing.

Our panellists agreed employers should not only support their people in moments of crisis, but also try to prevent crisis in the first place. That could be by introducing policies that prioritise physical and mental wellbeing – such as no double shifts, or laying on healthy food; by providing workers with the tools to help themselves – such as coaching and counselling as a benefit; by making space for people to heal – for example with mental health days, bereavement leave, and improved parental leave; and by prioritising fun and connection – which is often the first initiative cut in tough financial climes, to the detriment of morale.

But what good are policies if no one knows they exist? To embed policies and transform company culture, buy-in needs to start from the top. Mental health must be invested in and prioritised by leadership – even better if they genuinely care, show vulnerability, and lead by example to encourage buy-in across the whole team. 

Not only that, policies must be visible: introduce them in inductions so everyone knows they exist from day one, then repeat messaging across communications and platforms to ensure everyone gets the memo. Also, make sure any benefits you offer are accessible: offer training or coaching from reputable providers and pay your workers for their time.

All this contributes to a more compassionate work culture where employees are more inclined to look after one another, as well as themselves – creating a much happier place to work. Want proof? You could do before-and-after surveys (whether informal or formal) to assess morale, or you could just look at your nosediving attrition rate.

3. don’t discount the demands of younger people

Four generations (Baby Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z) all working alongside each other is bound to bring its own challenges – not least thanks to differing attitudes towards work. But, as one panellist pointed out, “Younger workers want communication, transparency, work-life balance, and fair pay – these aren’t bad things to ask for.” 

Sometimes we can be so fixed in our habits or ideas about ‘the way things are’ that we don’t see the value in considering new perspectives. As leaders, our panellists advised against discounting the demands (or complaints) of younger generations, simply because they don’t mirror your own. Instead, they suggest being curious and asking more questions, demonstrating vulnerability and openness that might in turn create positive change for your entire team.

4. try therapy

Our panellists were enthusiastic about the benefits of therapy and strongly recommended giving it a try if you can (although they recognised it’s a luxury to many). They shared these resources for accessing therapy:

• Help@hand powered by Square Health – get unlimited counselling for your team through this EAP provider

• Self Space – accessible walk-in or online therapy available 7 days a week (often same-day)

• Better Help – online support and therapy subscription service costing £40-£70 per week (click the link for a discount)

Struggling with your mental health, or wondering how you can better support your team? Kelly’s Cause is a charity on a mission to create a mentally healthy hospitality industry for all – get in touch to find out how they can help you.

Tune in to Kelly’s Cause: ‘Beyond The Pass’ podcast and hear mum Founder and Director Craig chatting more about his hospitality and recruitment journey. Available on Apple, Amazon and Spotify.